Life changes from day to day, and from year to year. Fabulous changes. Not so fabulous changes. But with each change, we grow as individuals, friends, loves, siblings, children and parents. My life is constantly changing. I have beautiful children and amazing friends. My husband is the most forgiving man I have ever met! And my life would be complete chaos without him. I have a great life... but it's a life not without it's problems.
I took my youngest son to the doctor the other and learned he has Strabismus. It has to do with his eyes. basically both of his eyes are lazy and now we get to take him to Children's medical Center and learn whether or not he has to have surgery. I'm grateful to have caught it early yet I am worried at the same time ~ just as any mother would be.
My mother is ill with two serious heart conditions, Cardio Myopathy and Congestive Heart Failure. She has her ups and downs but it scares me. It scares me more than I will admit to her (unless she reads this blog, lol) Every phone call I receive from my father, I worry that he is calling to inform me that mom is on her way to the hospital again. Or that mom's life on this earth has ended.
My very best friends, in all this world ~ aside from my husband ~ live too far away. One is in Virginia while I am in Texas, and the other three hours away. My other, very close, friends are busy with their lives, as I am. So most days it's just my two boys and me... alone with my thoughts ~ which is NEVER a good thing! Thus leading me to this blog. I do not blog often, due to my toddlers keeping me extremely busy, but today I truly felt the need.
There is not much to this blog, but I need/needed to get some things off of my chest.
I've done some things that I am not proud of. Things that have hurt someone I love deeply. Someone who has been my rock and who has been here for me come hail or high water. I will not get into it and I will not diverge who it is that I hurt... Just know that I am a mess because of it. What makes me feel even worse, is that this person immediately forgave me... that's not to say that all is well between us. No, we have plenty to work out and it will take some serious time for the two of us to go back to where we were. But I can not apologize enough. I can not express, enough, how I feel and how badly I want things right again. But in time, I will be able to do so.
In the meantime ~ with all that I have on my plate ~ I will be looking to the sky... I will be turning to our father in heaven to help me and guide me through all of my fears, all of my hurt and all that I have screwed up in my. ever changing, life.
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